Despite our intrepid efforts to quell it, defy it, convert it, or escape from it, there still exists an appallingly normal and mainstream world out there with which we are forced to interact. While you may thrive on the stares and comments offered by the mentally stagnant populace, whose idea of "Extreme" refers to a late-eighties pussy glam metal band, most of us may tire from time to time of the negative attention.

That said, I compiled a small series of bland comments to aid you in blending effortlessly into the norm. Throw a couple of these gems into a conversation and people will accept or ignore you henceforth. Then you can really enjoy a good bout of lonely depression, or continue your subtle conversion of a happy local girl into a proper goth chick.

• Are you on AOL?
• So, you drink blood, right?
• Didn't that hurt? I would never get one.
• You're gothic, so you must like that Marilyn Manson guy, right?
• I don't get it.
• That's just weird.
• You guys are too weird.
• So ... you're into death? What, like you want to die?
• That's too scary.
• Ooh! This is too spicy.
• What's with the funny cross with the loop?
• That's too loud.
• That kind of music gives me a headache.
• What IS that you're listening to?
• Why would anyone want to wear black? There's no color in it.
• Oh! I LOVE Evanescence!
• I like to listen to (Insert name of local weak commercialized alternative-pop dance station here)