Links from the Offramp

Fang-in-Cheek Personal Sites

• gothnicity
  Once situated at Gothnicity, this is the home of the darkly classic and informative "How to be Goth (in less than an hour!)" Follow these easy and humorous steps to avoid wannabe-hood and immerse yourself in the gothic culture, fast.
• The Tao of Goth
  Truly the wisdom of the ages resides in this scholarly and brilliantly hilarious translation. Within one can learn to be one with the Tao of Goth, to Clean the Dark Mirror on the dancefloor, and to know the joys of snakebite and dancing the three by three. Would that all treatises on Goth were so wise! Study it well.
• The REAL Gothic FAQ
  Just in case you're confused about it all. Lisa and Andrew set you straight, if a bit cruelly, with their biting but exceedingly clever Gothic FAQ. Even funnier is their page of past guestbook entries, where the dregs of Internet society try to express their anger with a complete lack of grammatical proficiency.
• alt.gothic.perkygoff FAQ
  Almost twenty years old and still relevant, this site has Joel explaining to you the phenomenon that is the perkygoff—that which is despised and feared by many a morbid moper. Perkygoffs dress the part, look the part, but are as likely to grin and dive into a raspberry smoothie as they are to twist and writhe on the dancefloor. It's the lighter side of gothdom.
• The Random Goth Lyric Generator
  A creative endeavor after my own wormy little heart, the R.G.L.G. solves all your darkly musical problems. Merely press the button, my poor lyricless goth musician, and the random technological wonder created by Mrrranda L. Tarrow and Christopher Herdt will provide all the creative calignosity you need for your baneful tunes.
• How to Dance Gothic
  Having difficulty expressing yourself properly on a darkly lit dance floor without making even the ubergoths crack a smile? Then you need to learn how to dance the way the goths do. This brief guide provides detailed instructions and illustrations for even the most severely angst-impaired. You may have seen a YouTube video, but these people wrote it down for you first.
• Gothic Charm School
  Originally a feature on gothic.net and once called Gothic Miss Manners, this excellent site instructs you, the growing goth, on why goths should be polite, on how to act in social situations, club etiquette, and answers questions about everyday life (or death). Ask The Lady of the Manners (nicely!) and perhaps you will have your life's questions answered.
• pinstruck - digital voodoo
  Got someone that needs a little digitally-created supernatural cursing? Send a pinstruck personalized voodoo curse from this funny, well-designed voodoo site. Be sure not to send one to someone who can't take a joke or is too massively religious to handle it. Damn narrow-minded superstitious people... why is my hip hurting so bad all of a sudden?

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